As of a couple minutes after 10am today, I am officially a triathlete.
(Let me say here, that the excuses that are about to follow are not really excuses as much as they are supplemental reasons. I know I'm not amazing. Both Lin and Laura: good. They can aim to win. I know that I'm not as fast, even if I train equally hard. Or, at least, equally often. I'm not saying I would have won if it weren't for ____. I'm just saying, I would have finished a little faster, had it not been for______. That said, let's get on with the post!)
This title of triathlete comes not without trials and tribulation. It was just a super sprint distance, which means 375m swim, 10k bike, 2.5 k run. I knew I could finish that distance. Plus, it goes in order from my worst event to my best event (that is, swim-bike-run) so I wasn't feeling too, too bad. However, yesterday's travels (post not finished yet) put me in what can hardly be called good pre-race condition. We had to get up really early in order to get to Orangeville on time, too. So tired, and with a cold, we arrive at the race site.

The Swim:
So my race bib number means I'm fifth to leave the dock (it's not mass start. One swimmer every 10 seconds. NICE). However this also means that like 200 people will be watching me so I better use my nicest front crawl. I blow some snot rockets and everybody around me is either utterly disgusted, or utterly impressed by the sheer volume.
I jump in the chilly water and pop my goggles on. Off I go with quite nice front crawl. About 8 seconds later I'm like "okay, I can't breathe through my nose." so I decide to do breast stroke because maybe then I can do mouth breathing. My breast stroke might even be considered my best stroke. Well, my breaths are so quick that there is no glide at all to this stroke and I worry that I might start hyperventilating. After yesterday, this is a legit concern. (Again, the events of Saturday will be posted tomorrow. It includes an ambulance visit to the airport. Not cool.) So, I do what you would do: backstroke. Okay now before I tell you that I have a fast backstroke that me caveat (the same thing I told Lin earlier on the phone). When I say "good" and "fast" I'm really only comparing myself to Laura who- no offense Laur, is not the greatest swimmer. We both kind of suck, really. But I've been practicing, a lot.
Well I'm going fine until I'm like... hmm nobody has passed me in a while. I AM pretty fast. Hmm... how far till the turning buoy I wonder. I flip back over to look. Okay I have gone WAY off track. WAY. Fuck. Alright, so I flip back over and start calculating hypotenuses to estimate exactly how much extra distance I went (at least 25m!). I start flipping back over more frequently now to avoid going further off course. (Sarah, my younger sister who was the photographer, told me that somebody else in the crowd said "where is she going?", motioning to me. Fine, whatever.
So I'm nearing the first turning buoy and my glasses are foggy because I didn't wet them before starting. So I'm treading water and wiping my goggles down. Then I start doing my "head above the water" breast stroke so that I don't overshoot and miss the turn. The rescue canoe heads to me; the guy in front says "Don't worry! We've got you! We're coming hold on". Me: No, I'm fine! Him: Umm, are you sure? Me: Yup! Umm, okay see you.
I'm nearing the end of the swim now and okay the weeds were creepy before but now they are down right intrusive. Like, seriously. Wrapping around my legs so much that I feel like I'm hardly moving. But I make it! I slip on the algae on my way out but that's okay! If I can finish the swim, I can finish this race!
Total I passed: 0
Total that passed me: I'd wager... 60

The Bike:
I think I have a good bike. It's new and expensive. It's a cross bike leaning towards mountain. I like it. It has good gears, good brakes, and it about 1/4 the weight of my old "department store bought" bike that I got for Christmas when I was maybe 15. So. I think it's good. Lin told me that I'm going to get passed by people on road bikes, and I was like "um, Lin? My bike rawks."
Before we get into how wrong I was, lets start with: I forgot to adjust the seat. So I go running out of transition (seamless transition, other than that I couldn't get my shirt on part) and hop on my bike. You know that sensation when you think there is another stair and there isn't? That's me with my bike seat. I guess somewhere along the line it got lowered- maybe when my dad was loading the car for us this morning? So I pedal for a bit and realize that this isn't working. I stop to raise the seat, and decide to abandon logic. I just raise it wildly, saying nuts to measuring, and re-tighten. Hop back on. Okay, still not quite high enough, but I did succeed in off centering it! So now the front of the seat is rubbing against my leg as I go.
And "as I go" do I ever! I have it in front gear 3, back gear 6, for the entire race. Despite this effort, every road bike just goes zooming past. ZOOMING. Old woman wearing a skirt. A woman, who is aged, who is wearing a skirt on a bicycle. A bicycle being ridden by somebody twice my age who was also sporting a skirt. Zipping past. At another time, I reached the crest of a hill at the same time as somebody with a proper road bike. She stopped pedalling, let go of one handle bar and starting stretching her back out. I bent down and pedalled my heart out. She reached the bottom of the hill in half the time it took me. Frustrating to say the least.
The best one was this one woman who's rump was maybe 5 times as wide as the seat she was sitting on. I mean, all the best and kudos to her but seriously? Seriously. That hurt. "Passing on your left." Oh hi.
Total I passed: 1
Total passed me: perhaps 20

The Run:
Ahhh. Running. My best one. A little sore coming off the bike. But ready to do this. I picked up speed the entire way until at the end I did a really strong finish. I realized I could have pushed it harder on the run but when I'm used to running MIN 5km, then doing 2.5 is hard for pacing.
Total I passed: at least 10, as many as 20
Total passed me: NOT A SINGLE ONE.
So, the results haven't been posted yet so I don't know my times for each section. I do know that I finished 18th in my age group. I don't know how many in my age group, but I'd say at least 30, probably 40. So! I'm quite proud of myself! I can't wait to do another one! (Aside: never has I:tg seen so much topless action!)