Gun and Meat Update

Well, I shot a gun. All in all the experience was stressful. I'm going to do it again because I'm interested in why people love it so much. Everybody says it's stress relieving? I'm going to shoot a revolver next time.

I also recently ate real Texas BBQ. All in all the experience was high calorie, low cost, and tolerably unhygienic. The chicken was really fatty, the sausage was delicious but suspicious, the yams were the love of my life for 5 minutes, and the green beans were way nasty. I'm going to eat it again because the pulled pork looked really tasty and I like all the corn bread they give you.

This weekend I'm going to look into buying cowboy boots.

BUT DON'T WORRY. I registered today to vote remotely in the upcoming Canadian election. I haven't TOTALLY forgotten my roots.

I never thought I'd be posting about guns

Living in Texas has kind of been forcing me to solidify my opinions and thinking about a lot of new things.

I feel like when I'm on my university campus in my liberal Canadian city, I can say "Sarah Palin is a joke" and people will be all, "I know, right, and not even a funny one." Now that I live in a city where more than 50% of the residents are ACTUALLY going to vote for her, I can't just say she's crazy... I actually have to have facts to back myself up (Ps. The next post is about a fight I got in with a man at a bookstore after I innocently picked up a Michael Moore book. Stay tuned)

I've also been confronted with scenarios that I've never really thought about. I mean, like, nobody in Canada has a gun. Are you even allowed? I don't know. Nobody has one, though. If somebody other than a farmer said they had a gun we'd all be like "...really? why?" but here in Texas EVERYBODY has a gun. People have multiple guns. People carry their guns with them every day. This is all new to me.

For my first few weeks living here I was all "HAHA GUNS. TEXAS. HAHA. COWBOY BOOTS. HAHA. HAMBURGERS THE SIZE OF MY FACE HAHA GUNS" and when I was told that I was going to be taught how to shoot a gun my immediate thought was "GOOD. The next time I play Have You Ever, I'm totally going to win."

In a few recent "hows Texas!!!" conversations with friends, I've brought up that I'm going to learn to shoot a gun. And they're like "...why?" and you know what freaders? I don't know why.

I've learned how to stand and hold the gun, and I practiced pulling the trigger with an unloaded gun but I was too nervous/unsure to actually use live ammo. Next time we shoot (we= me and my coworkers, out at the test site) I'm probably going to be offered to shoot a hot gun (listen to me. "hot gun." WHO AM I) and I'm not sure if I want to.

I've been thinking about it a lot over the past few days.

If I don't, I'm going to kick myself after the term is over, call myself a wimp, and regret not living the full "Texas experience"

If I do then I'm somebody who has shot a gun. And guns are scary. Guns are made and used to hurt and kill people. Guns are about power and using fear to control people. Guns are violent and they promote violence.

I don't know enough about the laws to start sharing educated opinions on how I think they should be more regulated... and I when I talked to a gun-toting friend about how he carries a gun with him, I know I came of sounding incredibly idealistic.

I don't REALLY see the harm in firing a gun a few times in a safe environment with a non-living target with people who know what they're doing. But... I don't know. I feel weird about it kind of. Why am I turning this into such a big decision? Am I being crazy? Would you shoot it?

Crocodile Tears

I finally got my brand new laptop. I'm so happy with it except I ordered a brown that looked like a chocolate brown, and instead it's brown-black like a good mascara. Oh well, I guess. Anyway, this conversation takes place a few days ago, with co-workers A and B (CWA, CWB). My laptop got mailed to the office, however we were spending out days at the test site.

Me: I really, really, really hope my laptop was delivered to the office today. If it's not waiting for me when we get back to the office tonight, I'm going to cry giant crocodile tears the whole way home.

CWA: What are crocodile tears?

Me: Like big giant tear drops. My mom used to always say, "oh, look at those crocodile tears"

CWB: I think crocodile tears are fake tears

Me: No way! Check Urban Dictionary!

we look it up

CWB: Crocodile tears. Fake tears.

pause

Me: My mom has never loved me.

My daily work uniform

Stop pretending like you don't love it

You men be safe

Where the heck have I been! Let me tell you.

Monday: worked 15 hours
Tuesday: worked 17 hours
Wednesday: got to work at 6:30, slept over night at the test site
Thurdsay: woke up at the test site, got back to the office at 6.

You could say that I've been working a lot.

The test site is in Nowhere-ville, Texas. It's where we create controlled explosions. Since Monday, have learned so much about different tools (like... their names, for starters.) and how to work with PVC piping, and how to use those silicon guns, and how to test pressure gauges, and how high speed cameras work, and how to kneel wearing steel toed boots without crushing your toe knuckles, and so much more (that I can't tell you about because, you know, CLASSIFIED.)

I have also tried a breakfast taco made out of beef tongue (YES, I ACTUALLY ATE TONGUE), taken an outdoor shower, and found a bat skull.

The sleepover part last night was pretty hilarious. It was me and 2 male coworkers in the work room part of our three room trailer (bathroom, office, work room). (And the office is really just two computers with 5 million wires, cables, and control boxes. I feel so hardcore with all those blinking red lights. I'd take a picture, but, you know, CLASSIFIED.)

We had three air mattresses blown up. I shot gunned the middle one because they had made me watch a zombie movie before bed. Because they're jerks.

I thought for a second that it'd be hilarious to play work appropriate truth or dare. It'd go like this:

"I dare you to... eat a handful of almonds"
"Okay, truth. What's your middle name"

But instead we went to bed.

When was the last time you heard somebody say, "And there's the shower. Through the long grass by the nitrogen tanks." Oh and then they suggest you wear your boots out to the showers because sometimes there are "critters" in the grass. Yikes-a-likes! Let's be real here: I was terrified to take that shower. I didn't know whether to bring a million lanterns and flashlights to keep the snakes away, or to leave all the lights behind as to not attract the oil rig workers at the nearby well. (I chose to take my chances with the rig workers.)

It was actually the most glorious shower of my life, for the record. Oh, and in the trailer there was a stack of towels that never really get washed, in all sorts of different colours. Sometimes they get folded away when they are still wet, I think. So I decided to go for the pink one, thinking it would have been used least. I was right- it even still had the tag. Score one for being a girl! (Or, score one for being okay with a pink towel, I guess)

I think my favourite part of the day is when we enter the test site area, and the gate guard says (in an accent straight from King of the Hill) "You men be safe." I haven't bothered to correct him because really, what's the point. It'd be a hassle for him to remember to say, "You men and woman be safe" you know? One of the mornings after we entered past him, one of my co-workers said, "Lisa, I think he wants you to be careless."

This morning I saw the sun rise, and I've seen the sun set around there a few times. It's so pretty, guys. I really ought to take a picture. I think I'm in love with nature.

I love my job so much. I'm outside all day. I'm pretty sore, actually. I'll be alternating weeks in the office and at the test site, pretty much. During weeks at the test site, I'm probably not going to be blogging much. I can't believe this is the first time I've blogged this week. It's a physical itch... I just wanted to blog so badly. Maybe I'll get used to not having internet 24/7. So crazy.

Also, I promise that I WILL eventually post that hilarious picture of me in the my test site uniform. I need to black out the company logo on it, and I STILL don't have my new laptop so I'm borrowing my roommates every so often, but I'm not going to start photo editing on it. Just be patient, it'll be worth it.

Happy weekend!

Dimensionless Analysis and Black Widow Spiders: a post about my job

Disclaimer: I'm obviously hesitant to blog about work, so I'll keep this really generic and only say the positive things. Sorry! But I don't want to get dooced.

I know it's only my fourth day, but this job has already taught me that yes, mechanical engineering IS for me. I find it incredibly gratifying that every day we talk about something that I recently learned. All that studying wasn't useless after all! Those weird theorems have a purpose! The labs we did weren't unrealistic! It feels great to be like "dimensionless analysis? Why yes, I do know all about that."

Also great is that everybody just assumes I'm smart. There's no babying, like, "now, because the volume is controlled, when we heat this up, there will be a build up of pressure. See? PV=nRT! Do you understand?" instead we cut right to the chase and I'm learning stuff that is both awesome and applicable. Most things I'm learning have to do with explosions. I've watched tonnes of clips of things blowing up. It's pretty cool.

Also cool is that I get to go out to our test site. While I can't tell you about the test (but hint: things explode), I can tell you about all the safety we went through. Yes yes, steel toed boots, safety glasses, all that. (Ps, you should see my uniform. I'd post a picture but you would die laughing) But also all sorts of animal awareness safety. For example, there are 4 types of poisonous snakes in North America. Texas is home to all 4, and 3 are native habitants of the area where we test. INCLUDING RATTLESNAKES, GENTLE READERS. I hope to see one. From a distance. Also: black widow spiders, scorpions, armadillos, and chiggers. Look chiggers up. Yikes-a-likes!

Also yikes-a-likes, I'm probably going to be taught how to shoot a gun. I've never so much as touched a gun. I feel so Texan already. I'm going to buy myself some cowboy boots, and I will hardly feel like a poser.

I live in Texas, y'all

Oh boy! I've been two days at my new job, and four days in Texas. Can you say whirl wind?

San Antonio is incredi-suburban. It's the most suburb-topia place I've ever lived in, and coming from a girl who grew up in Mississauga, that means a lot.

Our apartment is fantastic! We have a pool and everything. Whenever we come home though, as we pull in through the gated entrance to the complex, I sort of squirm a bit, like, "oh dear, is this my life? Do I really live in a gated apartment complex in a giant suburb in Texas? Am I really wearing business casual? Do I enjoy being this responsible?" and it's sort of crazy. I feel like I should be looking for a husband. I feel like I should have been collecting Christmas ornaments in a box under the stairs.

Luckily, all the panic that is induced by the outside of my apartment is shoved away when I set food inside of my apartment. We've got carpet, pretty kitchen counter tops, and two bathrooms. Notably absent: any furniture. My roommate has an air mattress, and we splurged on an ironing board. And that's it, folks! Unless you count the shower curtain I bought. Other than that, no furniture! I sleep on the ground and we eat meals standing up. Once we get an internet connection at home we're going to start looking at second hand things on craigslist.

We also didn't come with any kitchen things. We went grocery shopping and realized with no pot, pan, or microwave, it's going to be a lot of sandwiches and cereal. So we bought a set of dishes and silverware, and then got a pot and a pan and even a spatula and cooking spoon! (99 cents, thank you, Target).

Shopping with my roommate can get ridiculous. We're both very logical, rational decision makers. Choosing silverware took about 20 minutes. While some might say "this set is within our budget, let's get them" we not only calculated the per unit price of every set in the store, but started factoring in quality and prettiness (my criteria). Is cutlery something we'll take with us when we move back to Canada in 4 months? The set of 8 is on sale, and therefore cheaper than the set of 4... but do we need 8 knives, 16 forks, and 16 spoons? We have a dishwasher... if we only get the set of 4, we'll be washing before the dishwasher is even full. Does buying the set of 8 mean we should buy more dishes to be more efficient with our dishwasher? HOLY GEEZ. Then you should have been there to watch us try to buy laundry detergent.

It's really hot here. I mean really, really hot. You can feel your skin's temperature increase. I'm drinking more water than you'd know what to do with. The amount I drink after going for a run could support a village in Africa for a month. Sorry, guys.

More soon! With pictures! Maybe about work! Get ready!