What I had for lunch: Wednesday

Remember lunch time in elementary school?

I lived right near the school so I normally walked home for lunch. When I had an intramural or when my mom was out for the day, I'd have to stay. So when 11:30 rolled around, all the kids trouped to the hallway to get their fashionable lunch bags with their cool lunch.

I never had a cool lunch.

(I rarely had a fashionable lunch bag, but one year I did. It was actually this plastic kids meal box from a weird restaurant in France, where we had traveled that summer. It lasted till about March until it broke.)

They'd unwrap huge kaiser bun sandwiches. They'd rip open their Dunkaroos. They'd slurp away at their delicious looking drinking boxes (juice boxes, okay?). Or lunchables. They'd eat lunchables.

And while I ate my plain pepperoni (I'm not complaining... I love pepperoni more than you can know) or PB and J sandwich, and chomped away around the bruises on my apple (now I'm complaining)... the thing I lusted over most were those darned lunchables.

Lunchables contain, in order of increasing non-edible suspiciousness, crackers, "meat", and ""cheese"". You'd layer the "meat" and ""cheese"" on the crackers... one level! two levels! three levels high! Does it still fit in your mouth? YES! What a pleasure it is to eat these! You'd make patterns! You'd pretend they're glasses! You'd play checkers on the desk! Cheddar vs Ham! Ham goes first! King me king me with a cracker! And then you'd eat the enclosed Kit Kat!

At the giant $1 sale on Sunday,a herd lead me to the lunchables section.

I hesitantly picked up a kielbasa lunchable (I swear I eat kielbasa like 3 times a year... you've just got a peak in at two of those times). It looked gross. The "meat" and ""cheese"" are obvi way processed. I hurriedly dropped it back into the bin.

Then I remembered my promise to blog about lunch every day this week, and I knew that, if nothing else, this lunchable would at least give me a day's worth of blog fodder. I dejectedly picked it back up and purchased it. You see what I do for you, freaders! I risk life and limb and taste buds and stomach lining or the sake of a blog post! "Make art, make art" the guy from Once said during his Oscar speech. Well, if a lunchable blog post isn't art... then what is it?

I knew I couldn't let anybody from work see what I was going to eat today. Since I couldn't store it in the office fridge, I kept it cold in my backpack with chilly diet coke. And even though it's -18C today... I walked to the local park to eat. I couldn't eat at my desk. It'd be social suicide.

Funny how the coolest lunch in school is now on the top 10 list of the most embarrassing foods I can think of.

When I peeled it seal open I was greeted with an overwhelming wave of swiss scent. The kielbasa actually didn't look that bad! I ended up eating all the crackers, 90% of the kielbasa, and <5% of the ""cheese""... one nibble told me that perhaps these were best used at giant board game pieces after all (backgammon for people with finger agility issues?). I then of course heartily enjoyed the Kit Kat. (No, I did not make glasses with the kielbasa... mainly because my hands were too cold. I should have though, really, I should have.)

Also for lunch today: an apple, an orange, 3 cookies, diet coke.