I bet I could garner at least a grand...
“Our 15 year old daughter Mary wasn’t very popular and did nothing but mope around the house bringing everybody down, so we decided to marry her off through your site. Now our house is a lot cheerier and we love our new swimming pool and Jaccuzi! We’ve told our youngest that when she turns 15 we’re going to marry her off too!"
WOW! WOW, you say! I am trying to marry my daughter off. What service can help me?
Why Marry Our Daughter!
100% Legal!
My favourite might be Courtney at the bottom of this page. And at only 50k? She's a steal of a deal! My friend Andrew suggests we go dutch and when it's my turn with her, I keep her in my dorm as a tiny little chef. Thirteen is a ripe old age.
The part I like best of this website is the giant ENGAGED stamp that goes over their face when they accept a proposal.
The cheapest, at only $5,995, is 16 year old Cheyenne. "We’re a Christian family and Cheyenne has had trouble with unchristian desires although at heart we know she's a good Christian girl. She needs a husband with STRONG Christian values who will provide her a STRONG Christian home and help her to live a godly life."
Hey if Kristen is getting 50k, why can't I? "Kristin has a wild streak. She likes parties and has spent more time with boys than we’d have liked her to. We had a family talk and decided that it was time she settled down with a man who could meet her needs and help her fulfill her dreams of being an actor or singer. She’s a bit fiery but worth it."
If you were to write one of these for yourself, what would it say?
11 comments:
wow this is amazing!
mine would have to say something like 'has turned her back on the lord, only cares about academia, listens to punk rock and needs a good christian husband to balance her crazy life plans and the fact that she plans to earn more money than you. to her credit, she is a fabulous cook and housecleaner.'
what would yours say?!
NO WAY! As we say "Only in America!!"
Mine could be:
no... i just can't bring myself to write such a thing! goes against everything i believe in!!
Mine would be something like "She talks too much. Please take her off our hands, we need a break."
And omigod...hilarious.
Hey Lisa... can I borrow a couple grand? I promise I'll pay you back once I'm back from the honey moon.
Absolutely ridiculous!!!
I find the courtship rituals of mortals bizarre and confusing.
"our daughter may have muddy brown hair and muddy brown eyes, but she knows how to make pumpkin pie and can be persuaded to do almost anything for candy. If she alone does not meet your fancy, we also are offering a two-for-one deal with her taller, blonder sister."
okay, i cannot believe this...there are 13 years olds! That is sick. Really. That is grae EIGHT! These parents are weird weird weird.
i hope they follow up on what kind of men spend 50000 for a 13 yr old.
It looks like it is not real (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20781129/site/newsweek/?GT1=10357)
THAT is a relief!
wow, so fake but so awful
Are you serious? This site actually exists and isn't a joke?!
[ok nevermind i was just rereading the comments and see that it is in fact fake - thank god]
un.be.lievable!!! that is probably the funniest slash most riddick slash WEIRDEST thing I've ever heard of!! Where do you find these sites! haha
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