Defending my omnivore status

I'm in Texas. A bunch of us are going out for lunch together. Everybody is discussing what they want (ie, Mexican or Mexican) when one turns to me and says,

What do you like, salad?

I chuckled and said I'm all in for wherever you guys choose. I'm famished! And you guys know the area! I'm tots game! They returned the chuckle at my double use of "you guys". Then one shyly turned to me and asked

Are you vejan?

Point of hilarity 1: She meant vegan. Point of hilarity 2: This is said in a cautious tone, but like its necessary to be asking. Embarrassed to be asking. Like in grade 7 when the nurses come to every school to immunize seventh graders against hepatitis B or something and you have to answer if you taken medication or have been sick in the last 6 weeks, and "Is there any chance you might be pregnant?". Oh gosh do those nurses want some grade seven somewhere to say "I think maybe" because oh la la the scandal! What a story. Same here, I think. "Are you vejan?" and a glance away like "I shouldn't have asked that. No I'm sorry. That was rude. I take that back" (she didn't actually say that- she just starred nervously, waiting for the answer). I should have answered "Well I wouldn't rule it out" in an equally conspiratorial whisper, nodding in a if-you-know-what-I-mean way, just for kicks. Instead I blurted something like "I LIKE MEAT" and smacked my lips for emphasis as if just thinking about it made me drooly. What about me would cause somebody to think I am a vegan salad eater?

When we went out for lunch I made sure to dig into my chicken fajitas with extra vigour. Which just shows how much I care about what people think because honestly? I did want a salad. Geez.

Texas Quote of the day (this will only happen for one day, don't get too excited): "You may all go to hell, I'll go to Texas" brought to you by one Davy Crockett.

Days without diet coke: 7